Ronald Reagan

It was a chilly afternoon on March 30 1981. Ronald Reagan was walking down the sidewalks of Washington D.C to exit a fundraising event he just attended. The newly elected president is just 69 days into his administration as he waves to fellow Americans outside Ford's Theater. It is at this moment that crazy man John Hinckley Jr. goes in to shoot the leader of the free world. This assassin did this to impress Jodie Foster, an actress he grew an obsession over after viewing the film Taxi Driver. A total of six bullets were shot in attempt to mortally wound the President. The first shot hit White House Press Secretary James Brady in the head. The following shot hit police officer Thomas Delaney in the neck. The third bullet missed entirely and hit a building across the street. At this time Reagan managed to get into his limousine. The fourth bullet hit Secret Service Agent in the stomach. The last two bullets were used to shatter the glass of the limousine and to hit the President. Reagan was shot in the left underarm, grazing a rib and lodging in his lung which caused it to collapse. The bullet was extremely close to his heart.

The president's limousine was being rushed to the hospital which Reagan was bleeding out in the car. He got of the car on his own will and starting walking into the emergency room on his own two feet. Unfortunately the poor man collapsed at the doors and doctors carried him in. He began bleeding into his lungs and was on the verge of death. Before he passed out he let the doctors know that they should treat him like they would treat any other american that walked into this hospital. He entered the operation room where they commenced surgery to remove the bullet. The president survived due to the fact that he arrived at the hospital just four minutes after the shooting and that he was in insanely good shape for a 70 year old man. He awaken from his surgery and saw his wife. The first this he said to her was "honey, I forgot to duck." Thirty minutes later he walked out of the hospital showing normal blood pressure and continued on that day to do whatever it is presidents do. This is one of the craziest things that has ever happened to a real American president in the history of the country. But if we include fictional presidents, President Whitemore from Independence Day takes the crown, sorry Reagan , even if you got shot you will never beat a war on aliens.

Theodore "Teddy" Roosevelt

MMA and politicians are not expressions that anyone would ever associate together. One involves the physical destruction of a human being, the brutal and bloody onslaught of punches and kicks which leads to brain damage and/or potentially death for the entertainment of the spectators. And the other involves screaming and lying a lot. Being a politician should have nothing to do with being an MMA fighter, so you thought. Theodore Roosevelt one of the most famous presidents ever to take office. He is known for his corporate reforms, foreign policies and just being an overall cool guy who was likable and relate-able  to the American People. During his tenure as president (He was in office from 1901-1909) he did things that the U.S Governmental deems one of their most well kept secret. What is this huge well kept secret you ask? I will tell you in a second, but if the secret service comes charging down your door to arrest you, do not tell them I let you in on the secret. Blame it on Wikipedia, because no one can ever arrest the admired and powerful god-like force that is Wikipedia.


This well kept secret is that President Theodore Roosevelt was a avid disciple of all combat sports which include boxing, wrestling and BJJ (Brazilian Jui-Jitsu.) Boxing was his primary focus and a activity which he pursued his whole life. He boxed competitively while attending Harvard university and started up many boxing gyms while governor of the state of New York. He continued boxing during his presidency and at often times invited sparring partners to the white house. "Teddy" considered this an excellent exercise to stay in shape but this all stopped at the age of 50 when an opponent landed a punch to the President's left eye. This caused hemorrhaging and detached his retina. This caused blindness in his right eye. The doctors ordered him to stop all combat sports immediately and the  President was inclined to agree. This injury did not take anything away from this man as being one of the greatest presidents to ever live. Also he was portrayed by the great Robin Williams in the Night At The Museum movie franchise so that adds to his coolness factor.











http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2002-10-07/features/0210070158_1_boxing-final-bout-theodore-roosevelt-association 

Andrew Jackson

This next presidential story is crazy from top to bottom and probably sounds like it is straight out of a movie. The easiest way to explain this story is to tell the ending first and go from there. American President Andrew Jackson who was in office from 1829-1837 participated in a duel with Charles Dickinson. Dickinson got the drop on Jackson and shot him in the chest. Clenching his blood-spouting wound and falling to the ground, Jackson managed to get a shot off on Charles and ended up killing his opponent. The president survived his wounds and won the duel.


What a crazy scenario it is that the president can go around risking his life in fire fights. This duel would translate in 2016 to Barack Obama rolling up at Mitt Romney's house with his piece and going BANG BANG. Even if times are different today, it is a great thought to imagine presidents that we have became familiar with resolving their arguments with firearms instead of their words. Now to explain the petty conflict which caused this fatal duel between Jackson and Dickinson. President Andrew Jackson (the man on the 20$ bill) was very argumentative and violent and did not like to resolve his issues peacefully. In a strange way his aggressive nature helped his campaign for the American people at the time were extremely violent and war-mongering (and still a bit to this day.) Jackson and Dickinson were rivals for quite a long time. The two southerners were plantation owners and competitive horse breeders which often brought them to odds. Dickinson was eventually fed up with Jackson due to his constant loses against Andrew's superior horses and called him a coward and a equivocator. These insults were mostly brushed off by Jackson but Dickinson had to further escalate the situation. He called Ms.Jackson in what would translate in today's English as a whore and even put a article in a national newspaper calling him a coward. The seventh president of the United States drew the line at getting his public image tarnished and his wife getting her name tarnished and challenged Charles to a duel. It is from tales like these that we are blessed with expressions such as "Talk *s*** get hit."

Harry Truman

My next post is about President Harry Truman (In office from 1945-1953) and the organisation of the KKK. The KKK or the Ku Klux Klan for the people that don't know are a bunch of uneducated hicks that feel the need to have power over others by being racist towards black people. The intelligence of this group is demonstrated heavily by what they call themselves, it takes real genuine idiots to spell clan with a K. So for all the black haters reading, the KKC would have worked fine for your brand because then I would not be able to make this joke about your guys's name. Anyway after serving in the great war Harry Truman came back to Kansas and started a farm. This farm quickly went as broke as a drug addict on the second day of the month. Mr. Truman instead used his family connections and pursued law. He quickly rose to the judge of the Jackson County Court's Eastern District. Now this is where the strange things start happening.

The more power this man acquired through the town the more he was influenced to join the KKK by co-workers and friends. In the 1920's there was much more ignorant dimwits in the population then there are in 2016 (this comment excludes Mr.Trump) and the KKK had some power. During those times, this cult had an estimated amount of four to five million members in their ranks. Much of this popularity was due to a film created in 1915 called "The Birth Of A Nation" which temporarily caused a huge resurgence in the Klan's population. A local auto dealer even offered to cover Truman's 10$ registration fee for him. He agreed to those terms and went to a meeting. Harry's tenure did not last long for he quickly came to his senses and left the KKK just after a few meetings. Following his departure the Klan issued threats on his life and his response to those threats were "I dared them to try." It is unknown to this day what changed  President Truman's mind on the KKK when at one point he seemed eager to join. Perhaps the white robs weren't flattering to his figure. Well, at least he never had a to pay the 10$ fee because the KKK does give the impression of being the type that gives refunds.

George H. W. Bush

George H.W. Bush like his son was a controversial president. They were loved by some and hated by most. But even if public opinion of Bush Jr. was the lowest of any president in the history of the United States Of America, he never did anything as strange as his father did 24 years ago. George H.W Bush who served as commander in chief from the years 1989 to 1993 has potentially to date the strangest encounter with a foreign dignitary  in American history.

At a banquet hosted by then Japanese prime minister Kiichi Miyazawa on January 8 1992, which was a state event which attended by 135 diplomats from around the world, George H.W. Bush vomited on Prime Minister Miyazawa. Yes, you read that correctly folks, the leader of the free world threw up or how some may say "threw his cookies" on the leader of  Japan. This is the only time in the history of the modern world that one diplomat has threw up onto another politician from another country. The U.S government exclaimed many apologies to the nation of Japan for getting vomit on their leader and blamed it on a flu bug which the president had caught during a 12 day trip through Asia. In the picture seen below you can see George's wife Barbara wiping his mouth in front of the very confused and barf covered Japanese prime minister.














This event caused worldwide laughter and became material for every comedian and late night show in the country. Even the Japaenese joined in on the fun creating the phrase Bushu-suru, which means to do the bush thing. For example in Japan if you fart in a empty elevator and get caught, you can get called Bushu-suru and it is merited.